My husband uses the phrase a lot whenever we’re having a conversation about life: “You’ll understand when you get there.”
I always tease him about using that phrase so often. It’s his way of letting me know that there are some things about life I simply wouldn’t understand until I found myself in a position that allowed me to.
As I grow older, I think I’m beginning to get him.
I Didn’t Think I Would Feel This Pressure
I never thought I would admit to feeling pressured by anything in life, but lately, I’ve been feeling more pressure than I expected in different areas of my life.
There’s the pressure to be more, to be successful, to set an example for my son, to grow my finances, to expand my business—a whole lot.
Looking at many women who are doing so well, I sometimes wonder when it’s all going to happen for me. The feeling becomes stronger when I think about getting older and the things I still want to accomplish.
At this stage of life, it’s difficult not to feel like time is running out. You read the Bible, understand God’s promises, and know what you believe, yet that doesn’t always stop the feeling of failure from creeping in.
Growing Older Changes How You See Your Life
My work has exposed me to some truths about life that I probably wouldn’t have understood otherwise.
Growing older seems to bring a different kind of pressure. It is around this time that we begin comparing our lives to those of other people, counting our achievements and wondering when everything is finally going to fall into place.
Over the past few weeks, though, I’ve met many successful people who have reminded me of something important: success doesn’t respect age.
When it’s your time, you’re going to succeed, as long as you don’t give up.
I’ve seen successful women in their 20s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. They’re all doing well in different areas of their lives. Some found success early, while others took longer to get there. There are also those who are only just beginning to experience the things they had hoped for years ago.
So, perhaps age matters less than we think. The good news is that it gets better.
A Woman’s Route to Success Is Not Always Straight
What nobody tells you, specifically as a woman, is that your route to success can look very different from a man’s.
For many women, the journey involves graduating from school, finding a job, getting married, building a life, having children, picking up a career after giving birth, and perhaps even starting a business of their own.
All of these things take time, and life rarely allows them to happen neatly, one after another.
One season may require you to put your career on hold. Another may demand that you focus on your family. There could be a period when you have to start over or figure out how to build a career while raising a child.
It’s not easy or simple, and the experience is particularly different for every woman.
That’s why I think we need to be more patient with ourselves.
We Don’t Know What It Took Someone Else to Get There
Other people’s success can make us forget that we don’t know how long it took them to get where they are.
We see the outcome without seeing the years, sacrifices, disappointments, and opportunities that came before it.
Our lives simply don’t unfold at the same pace.
Perhaps the woman who seems ahead of you has already lived through a season you haven’t reached yet. Perhaps another woman is looking at your life and wishing she had something you have.
None of us really knows.
What I do know is that there is no point in giving up simply because things haven’t happened when we thought they would.
Maybe It Just Takes Time
Life is not simple for a woman with determination. There will be interruptions, responsibilities, delays and seasons when you question whether all your effort will ever amount to something.
Still, don’t lose hope.
If there is anything I’m learning as I grow older, it is that life has a way of making sense when you finally get there.
Maybe that’s what my husband has been trying to tell me all along.
“You’ll understand when you get there.”
