“There’s no love in the world anymore.”
That’s what a friend told me. Now, “it’s all about using your head and not your heart.” People don’t care how many hearts they have to break to ‘feel good.’ Breaking hearts is now glamorous. We see and hear it all the time on the television, in movies, and we love them.
We love the movies where Cameron Diaz breaks all the ‘hard boys’ hearts.
And when all your favourite female actresses (Jennifer Anniston, Scarlet Johansson, Blake Lively- just to mention a few) cease and dominate the dating world, you throw your heart and mind a feast full of happiness.
You see Joselyn Dumas, in a Nollywood movie, cheat on her husband and you’re like wow, the table has turned. This woman is a boss! Everything in life now is almost like a game. “Love is a game,” you play it anyhow according to the number of lives you have.
Divorce is now the new trend. The atmosphere is charged with divorce vibes: don’t you think? Haven’t you watched a movie where the friends of the divorce/divorcee stress on the fact that he/she is a free man or woman and can have as much ‘fun’ as preferred? Get them all cleaned up with a new lifestyle and push them back to the dating world again.
“You’ve been through hell. Get somebody young and have fun- you deserve it.” It’s like marriage is a hell zone; you have to experience it at a point in time and get out with style. I was scrolling up some reels on Instagram and I came across an interesting video. So, I decided to check the comment section and see what others are saying about that video. Then I saw a comment someone posted, “This is why I’m twice divorced and single.” There’s something that struck me about that comment. Maybe, it was the way I read it in my head. I felt like that comment came with a sense of achievement. That, to be “divorced twice and single” deserved an award. The person is definitely a no-nonsense individual; if you do anything “stupid” then you’re going.
But should it be that way? The moment your partner steps on your toes or break your rules or you get bored, he/she is getting divorced immediately. The moment you feel like trying new adventure then the marriage is over? Marriage is no longer sacred. It’s a try-it-and-leave-it when you’re tired of being married.
Like ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love (the movie),’ Emily Weaver (Julianne Moore) cheats on husband, Cal Weaver (Steve Carrell), because she’s bored being with just one man since high school. She wants change, a new experience, and I don’t blame her. We’re in the age where promiscuity and adultery are celebrated as a necessity. If you don’t explore sexually, you won’t ever achieve the sexual satisfaction you deserve. It is ‘weird’ to have one sexual partner or have legitimate sex (marriage). You have to experiment with different sex toys to determine what your body wants. Polyamorous relationship is the key to having a fruitful relationship. Open-marriage is the key to spicing up your marriage.
Is there a good reason for divorce?
Divorce is a difficult experience. For those who invested their time and dedicated their lives to making the marriage work, divorce can be a gruesome experience. There are people who marry and do everything in their power to make the marriage work even if it takes life away from them. But it, eventually, ends in a divorce. Their partners are not willing to make the same sacrifice or don’t want to be married to them anymore. This way, they can’t force or tie them down with a rope to continue the marriage. You have no choice but to sign the divorce paper when ‘you’re being served with it.’
Also, when you’re in a marriage where your partner does not treat you with respect, abuses you physically or emotionally and on top of it all, breaks your vows by cheating on you then divorce is definitely an option. Even the bible states adultery as a viable reason to divorce your wife or husband.
What you need to know about marriage: I have spoken extensively on the things you need to know about marriage (click on it and read more). Maturity is an important factor to consider before you decide to say yes to someone’s son or daughter. Marriage is for the matured not just at age but in mind. You have to be matured in the mind to comprehend the complexities of marriage. A matured person knows why or when to say sorry, when to let go, when to forgive; understands that some quarrels does not mean I no longer love you anymore, and knows the right sacrifice to make. If you listen to those who have been married for so many years and are still together, marriage is not all roses and gold.
To the soon-to-be-married: Assess readiness to embark on this difficult journey. My husband will always say “marriage is the only institution that gives you your certificate before you begin because they know it’s very difficult and you might not complete it.” Ask yourself these questions. Are you matured in the mind? Are you willing to make important and necessary sacrifices? And most importantly, is your partner also willing to make and support you in the same sacrifices? You can’t get married because there’s an escape route (divorce) for you when troubles come.
To the young people: Do not just follow any trend or lifestyle the media portray as nice and right. Marriage is not all roses and gold but it’s also beautiful. In marriage, you have someone who can keep all your secrets, someone to comfort you in times of sorrows and pain, someone to take care of you when you’re sick, someone to help you achieve your goals, someone to criticize you when you’re wrong, and someone to put you on the right part when you’re going the wrong direction. Find someone you love and who also loves you equally and share this new stage of life with him/her. Don’t rush into marriage because all your mates are getting married. Make sure you are ready to fight for the one you love and stand by when the rain and storm shake the foundation of your marriage.
I’m not judging anybody divorced because a lot of them have genuine reasons for divorcing their partners: Like how one husband threatens his wife with her naked picture just to take control. I’m merely pointing out the other side of divorce a lot of people overlook.
