Men’s empowerment? Oh where do I begin this conversation?
Okay!
On Saturday, June 29, 2024, I went on a book date. I join a book club called Read Along With Cally’s Library. We select a book of interest at the beginning of every month, read, and have an online discussion about the book.
But we do have a physical forum once or twice in a year and we call that a ‘book date.’ Instead of online meeting, we meet physically, introduce ourselves, interact with each other, play some interesting games, and the rest is about diving deeper into the book we read before the date.
I must confess that as much as I hate outdoor events (am I alone in this ?), I really did enjoy myself for this particular one. I met some lovely people who had some insightful thoughts to share.
For the month of June we read:
✨The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives✨
Synopsis
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives explores the themes of polygamy, rivalry, sexuality, mental health and the struggles of African women as laid out in the novel The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives. The story follows the titular Baba Segi, his four wives, seven children and a secret as it unravels. Baba Segi is an unlettered but rich patriarch of a large household.
There is an ongoing supremacy battle amongst the wives which Baba Segi is not aware of. He leaves his wives to their devices and marries Bolanle, a young university graduate whose naïveté leads to her struggles in Baba Segi’s household. Bolanle’s naïveté also leads to her unwitting unraveling of the untold secrets of Baba Segi’s wives.
The controversy
As interesting as it’s expressed in the synopsis above, this book discussion sparked some controversial topics like polygamy, rape, domestic abuse and women empowerment. The men amongst us supported the women empowerment initiative but were also concerned about the fact that the men were being left out.
Now, that’s what I want you and I to ponder and share our opinions on. Do you think women’s empowerment initiative is gradually gagging the men from being who they are? Do you think they are being left out?
For me, I believe strongly that the core motive for women empowerment initiative is justifiable. For centuries women have been looked down, rejected and considered as inferior.
The beginning of the feminism movement was to draw to attention that women are more useful than just being in the kitchen cooking, cleaning the house, and taking care of the family.
It was to prove that if women were given equal right to education then they, too, can contribute meaningfully to the development of society. I mean, without feminism- looking at the fact that I’m in Ghana- I would be fanning some dangerous smoke from the three stone stove in the kitchen into my eyes by now.
With the success rate today, women need to be empowered because majority of women still believe old mentality that their wealth is only in the kitchen. And many ‘cruel’ men are using that opportunity to abuse women. Preventing them from attaining the full version of themselves- an elite woman, a wife, mother, business woman, woman of God, etc.
The shift of focus
I also do understand that the modern day woman empowerment is shifting its focus from what it’s meant to be, but it doesn’t mean it should be stopped. It just has to be done right. Women need to be empowered to embrace their femininity.
Women should be empowered to choose whether to be a stay at home mom or a working mom. The woman shouldn’t be shame for the choice she makes. I mean it takes great a great deal of work to be a family oriented woman. And it also takes a great effort to be a working mom. As long as both women are empowered to be who they want to be, their choices shouldn’t be ridiculed.
Women should embrace womanhood. It is a blessing to be a woman, accept every responsibility that comes with being a woman, and strive to improve on that.
Being empowered doesn’t mean you should become a man- that you should become everything we dread about men doing. The abuse, promiscuity, murder, infidelity, heartlessness, denying responsibility for pregnancy etc.
Being empowered as a woman is about understanding that God created you in his image and gave you the same right as man to take dominion over the earth. It’s about understanding how God made you and the purpose he has for you as a woman, wife, and mother.
That’s the kind of empowerment I stand for. That I am beautifully and wonderfully created in God’s image, I am a wife and a helper for my husband, I am a mother who has to raise her children in the will of God, I am a woman of God, and I am a business woman. In fact, I am a proverbs 31 woman. That’s the right empowerment.
About men’s empowerment
Back to the issue of men being left out in this new wave of empowerment. It’s evident that men have had the upper hand for a very long time. Their empowerment is inherent, right from the beginning of civilization. But they are not empowered to accept this new ‘right identity’ for women and majority of them who are ignorant are fighting against the effort of the ‘right woman empowerment.’
So yes, they are being left out. Men also need to be empowered to find their purpose and understand who they are as God intended, and grasp their contributions in the life of a woman. if they are not empowered, then all our efforts to empower women will be futile.
In the end, they will fight against us for their place and authority in this world. They will fight to change things back to when they were in control and irresponsibly executing that power. If we’re educating a woman, let’s educate a man too, else the ignorance of the man will turn into hate, and hate can breed so many unwanted outcomes.
Having said this, don’t you think we need more men to start men’s empowerment, too? When more men stand for what is right then the rest would follow. So men, men of God, rise up and preach God ordained empowerment to these young men coming up.
Featured Image by asierromero on Freepik
