Realest Talks

Love is beautiful and simple, but difficult. I am not making any sense, am I? Allow me to elaborate.

Love is as beautiful as Charlotte and George’s love proclamation to each other in the movie Queen Charlotte: A Bridgeton Story.

Charlotte: “George, I will stand with you between the heavens and the earth. I will tell you where you are; Do you love me?”

George: “I love you! From the moment I saw you trying to go over the wall, I have loved you desperately. I cannot breathe when you are not near. I love you Charlotte.”

Wow! Hearing these lines makes my heart sweet like there is a sugar production going on in there somewhere.

Love is also simple like Marc Anthony saying: “From the day that I met you girl, I knew that your love would be everything that I ever wanted in my life,” in his song- I need you.

But love can be difficult like Michael abusing Madison in TILL DEATH DO US PART (2017 movie).

Nobody can foretell the future of their romantic relationship. One day you are so sure about your partner and the next day you can’t stand that person. If only there is a way you can predict accurately your partner’s behavior in the next few years after marriage, then life could be so simple. But you cannot fully know the one you vow to stand by in sickness and in health. You cannot know if the person will be what we say in the Akan dialect as “wo Nyame anaa wo bonsam” (meaning your God or Satan).

Some people are fortunate to find true love that lasts as long as they live. Others innocently land their heart into the wrong hands.

When I first heard the story, I thought to myself- why are some men so heartless?

Mary is a twenty-eight-year-old woman struggling with depression after her husband threatened to post her naked pictures on social media. It all started when she first met her husband, then boyfriend, Boakye in 2016. They started dating and in the first month of their relationship Boakye physically abused Mary severally, and she decided to end the relationship since it wasn’t healthy for her. She received many death threats from Boakye after breaking off the relationship which led her to report the situation to the police for fear of her life. Boakye was called to the police station and right there in front of the police and Mary, he apologized and promised not to harm her. Boakye claimed that he loved Mary so much which is why he became bitter and ruthless when Mary broke up with him. He pleaded with the police to also plead on his behalf and ask Mary to give him a second chance. Mary forgave and accepted him back because she didn’t want to show disrespect to the policemen who intervened. Boakye signed a bond at the police station to never threaten or abuse Mary again. From there, Mary and Boakye lived happily and got married. But only God knew that Mary’s happiness was for a short moment.

A few months after marriage, as Mary narrates it, Boakye started the physical abuse again. He insulted, body-shamed and belittled her so many times. Mary could not take it anymore so she reported the physical abuse to the police, again, and also decided to divorce her husband. Boakye knowing that he had not had enough of torturing her, hypocritically run to Mary’s father to confess and apologize and asked him to convince his daughter not to divorce him since he promises that he is a changed man now. Mary’s father, succumbing to Boakye’s hypocrisy, advised Mary to give her abusive husband another chance for the sake of their marriage.

The same marriage that might lead to the death of his daughter, Mary. Sometimes I just wonder what kind of brains reside in some fathers’ heads.

Mary is very obedient to her father. So, in order not to seem like she is disrespecting her father’s wishes, she withdrew the case from the police station and offered Boakye another chance. During this stage, they were not living together, but after Mary forgave her husband, he went to live with her. Everything seemed so fine when he settled with her- They did everything expected from ‘happily’ married couples.

Things were getting better until Boakye took off to another country without telling Mary. A week after he took off, he started sending Mary naked pictures of herself he took without her knowledge; threatening to publish all of it on social media to embarrass her. It was not just about the unaware-naked-pictures but he took videos of them having sex, edited his part and threatened Mary with the videos you could clearly see her face. Boakye claimed Mary had embarrassed and put him in a lot of trouble, so that was his way of paying back. He didn’t want money or Mary. He just wanted to put her in a lot of pain.

You hear stories like Mary’s in a lot of boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, but rarely in marriage. And when you hear a story like that it makes you ask yourself; do you really know your partner?

I mean, what will you gain from hurting the person you vowed to protect and love for the rest of your life? Is love nothing? Are people just evil or cruel?

Let me ask you this as a reader, what will you do if your partner threatened to post your naked picture on social media? Reply in the comment section.

Mary is now seriously depressed, and as a woman she stands to lose a lot if these videos and pictures go on the internet. The judgement and shame from people, even from her close relatives or neighbours. She will lose her job as a teacher if these nude contents get on the internet.

TO ALL THE VICTIMS

I acknowledge that I haven’t personally experienced this, being threatened by my husband or any ex with my nude photos, but I believe any victim should try and find the courage to confine in a trustworthy person (could be a family or friend) to support you and, most importantly, report the situation to the police. Sometimes, you may believe that the police might not do anything about it or prevent the situation from getting out of hand- but they are your best chance at surviving the situation. I think nude-photos-blackmailer’s actions are not dependent on whether you tell the police or not but they rely on fear to get you to do anything they ask. They will post those naked photos if they want to, anyway.