Pregnancy challenges is a subject most women can be hypocritical about when discussing childbirth and motherhood; particularly after marriage.
Having a baby is a wonderful thing to do! Or so the saying goes.
“Get married soon and have plenty of babies” “You have to get pregnant soon, you’re aging”
But is it that simple? Getting pregnant may come easier for some women but for others, maybe not.
Many women do experience pregnancy challenges. They just don’t talk about it.
Pregnancy challenges: Stories and Experiences
I met a woman in a hospital who had just had ectopic surgery after being childless for ten years. Her husband had divorced her because she couldn’t give him a baby. Surprisingly, she realized she was pregnant two months after the divorce.
The news of the pregnancy brought tears of joy to her eyes, but finding out later that her three-month-old pregnancy was ectopic broke her heart. To save her life, she had to undergo surgery to remove her ruptured right fallopian tube.
I know another woman who has been married for fifteen years but has no children.
A work colleague once told me that she didn’t want children if she got married.
I have a friend who got married last year and became pregnant with twins the same year.
I’m still mourning the death of my friend, Hilda; she died last year in December 2024 after giving birth to her baby.
The Pregnancy stories shouldn’t scare you
As much as these situations may give you chills or may make you anxious about the future or even now, there’s no need to be afraid. Everybody experiences childbirth differently.
If one woman found it difficult to conceive, it doesn’t mean you will go through the same thing.
I see many lovely families every day cruising in towns in Accra. And it just lightens my spirit to see the way some families connect with each other.
The motive of this post is not to scare you, but to draw your attention to the uncertainties of having children after marriage. So that, whatever your experience may be, we all get to share the details of our pregnancy journey and the joys (or shall I add pains- with a smiley emoji to it) of motherhood with the world.
I’m sure many mothers will relate to most of the experiences I will be sharing about my pregnancy journey here on my site. And incoming mothers will also have something to look forward to. So, do come back every week for an update. I post once a week.
When it comes to having a baby (or babies) or giving birth, the choice is yours to make, but don’t forget that the owls will be watching you very closely, and the judging Thomases will be judging you.
If you are Ghanaian, you are no stranger to the societal pressures of having babies right after marriage. And oh! the judgemetal looks you’ll get should yoou have any pregnancy challenges.
There are those who would be monitoring you to see if you were pregnant before you got married.
There are others who would be keeping tabs on how long it takes for you to get pregnant. And there are others who will be constantly reminding you of why you need to give birth sooner.
For me, I got pregnant in January 2024 and gave birth in September 2024. That was two and a half years into my marriage. If I’m telling you the number of people who kept asking and bugging me about giving birth, you would be irritated for me.
Family and friends kept asking what was keeping me from getting pregnant. Strangers who saw my wedding ring on my finger randomly asked if I had a baby, to which my answer was no, and the follow-up questions were mostly “What are you waiting for, or do you have any fertility problems?”
The audacity! Always concerned with matters that do not concern them. But that is just the way people are. We always want to pry to know whose life is better.
My dear, you can plan for the time when you and your partner feel ready to have a baby and don’t let anybody pressure you into getting pregnant soon.
Motherhood is a whole different ball game altogether, and if you don’t take care, you can lose yourself. If it gives you any peace of mind, know that no amount of preparation can fully prepare you for motherhood.
But remember that sometimes things don’t go as planned. When your plans don’t unfold as expected, or when you encounter some pregnancy challenges, trust that eventually everything will work out for your benefit.
Additionally, be aware that certain medical conditions can hinder your chances of getting pregnant, so make sure to attend check-ups and ensure that your doctor conducts tests to rule out any underlying medical issues.
One important step is to entrust your plans to God and patiently wait for Him to reveal what’s best for you and when it will happen. In the end, you will truly appreciate the beautiful picture of what He has planned for your life.
Share with me your journey to motherhood in the comment section below.
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