Realest Talks

My dear, I’m hoping you’re settled in for this.

The other day I was going through the books sitting on my bookshelves, deciding which ones I’ve purposely ignored for some time were worth my attention now. Then I saw a book by Michelle Mckinney Hammond- Secrets of an Irresistible Woman.

It was like some invincible being gently swiped my head with its index finger to where this book rested- enchanting me for the first time.

The book had sat on my bookshelf many times when I visited it; enduring countless rejections from me. In my defense, I mostly thought, ‘Well this book is for the singles anyway, and I’m not single. So what has it got to do with me now?’

But this time, I decided to read it anyway-

The book highlights principles married women can adopt, too.

Trust me, dear friend, the book does wonders even for the married.

This book got me thinking about my dating days which feels like 100 years ago now- ha! It got me measuring everything I did right and wrong, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t like some of the revelations I got.

Anyway, that’s not what I’ll be talking about now. Maybe I will save the self-embarrassment for another time, another post. Yeah? I’m going to talk about 6 principles every woman should adopt in other to become what Mckinney calls ‘principles woman.’

This post is about what I’ve learned from the book and 6 important characters I believe every woman should adopt to become a principles woman whether single or married.

Just by the way, I have eaten yam with garden egg stew, and I’m so full. This should tell you I’m fully packed for writing this post. Oh! And I’m sipping watermelon juice while typing this inspiring article for you.

So, snack on something while you read, and make sure that nothing snatches your attention. Be comfortable but alert for this, open your heart and mind, and let this revelation sink in.

6 PRINCIPLES OF A PRINCIPLES WOMAN

• A principles woman knows who she is in the eyes of God and understands her worth.

Do you know who you are? In the Lord? Take a moment to bring to mind some of the perceptions you have gathered about yourself and compare them with this knowledge of a principles woman. She knows that she’s fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.

She’s not inferior nor a slave! She is royalty. This principles woman knows the promises of God concerning her life and has buried them deeply in her bosom.

She knows her worth, she comprehends her God-given talent, and is actively utilizing her gift. She doesn’t get caught up in things that are not edifying. Her decisions are centered on God’s words. She’s a virtuous woman.

Nothing moves her in her position on this. If you tell her she’s nothing, she knows very well that you are damn wrong. Because she understands that your analysis is carnal, and she grasps what God has said about her- she is worthy!

• She has a life!

This principles woman is not sitting around a corner somewhere loathing about how miserable her life is without a man. In fact, she’s not buried in her thoughts digging deeper into the devilish work options the devil is dumping in her mind. Instead, she’s aware of her environment, searching for ways she can put her talent to use.

She has a purpose! She knows that purpose! She is pursuing that purpose! She’s serving others in ways she could. Aside from her nine-to-five job, she pursues new interests.

Learning new things to improve her life. Gaining a new life skill- learning how to cook, writing a book, volunteering at an orphanage, evangelizing, starting her own business, serving her church, etc. This principles woman does not wait to get a man before she gets a life. She is self-satisfied.

• A principled woman knows how to dress.

Fashion is a complex topic even for Christians to decipher. Everybody is coming up with their own understanding of what fashion is and how a woman is supposed to dress to exude confidence or feel beautiful.

We now find many Christians trying to blend worldly fashion into the original fashion God invented, tagging it as ‘modern Christian fashion.’

For me, I always turn to God’s word to understand his intention about every issue, including fashion. This principled woman who knows how to dress understands that the dress on the outside is not more important than the dress on the inside.

I mean, you could be the world’s most decently dressed woman, but if your heart is full of envy, wickedness, and jealousy, then what’s the essence of your worldly decency?

This is how a principled woman dresses: She fastens a belt of truth around her waist, covers her chest with righteousness, wears shoes or heels ready for the gospel of peace, wears a hat of salvation, puts on the makeup of faith, and her bag is the word of God (paraphrased Ephesians 6:14-17).

This is to say that this woman embraces holiness. Her dress from the inside reflects her dress on the outside.

Whether modern or old-fashioned, she understands that the way she dresses should not cause anyone to sin (Luke 17: 1).

So next time you’re going out, make sure you check how you’re dressed on the inside too. It shouldn’t be a decision of whether it’s too short or long, but centered on, “How does this dress please God? How does this dress reveal Christ to the world?” Oh! And don’t forget to read Proverbs 31:30.

• A principles woman is a lady at all times.

“Keeping this standard takes some work and the grace of God in some circumstances”- Michelle. This woman takes charge of every situation that goes on around her.

She finds the solution for every problem she faces and does not allow that problem to drain her energy and confidence, or take away her ability to do something about it. She takes control of her home, her work life, and her purpose. She has trained herself to be productive in everything she does.

• She treasures that dating is not mating.

Dating is the time to gather information about the man who wants to be in your life and become your husband. It’s the time you’re using God’s word as a yardstick to measure his potential as a godly husband. It’s not the time for you to be giving him more than he deserves and later realizing that he’s not the right person for you.

This principles ensures that the original purpose of sex is in the premise of marriage. If the ring is not on her finger, her legs are definitely not widely opened. She understands the repercussions of sexual immorality and makes a conscious effort to protect her jewel.

Even though a majority of Christians have made it okay to worship God and still commit this immorality, she holds dearly that God detests it and strives not to become a victim of it.

• This woman knows how to take advice.

Take advice from someone who has already been in the same position you are in- what did they do? The Bible teaches the young women to take advice from the older women (Titus 2:3-5). An older woman does not always necessarily mean a woman who is well advanced in her age.

But it can also mean someone who understands your situation, has been there before, and knows the right solution for your situation. She has the experience that you do not have and you could even be of the same age or not.

Ruth took Naomi’s advice and she found a husband she needed in Boaz. Esther took Hagai, the king’s eunuch advice and she won the king’s favor. She became Queen Esther (Esther 2:17-18).

Being a principles woman takes a lot of effort and determination, but in the end, the reward you reap is plenty. Work on yourself to be this kind of woman if you think you’re not. If you are single, you have to master this because you will need this principle to empower your marriage.

If you’re married and you think you’re not a principles woman, you can still work on yourself. It’s not too late to do better. If it’s any motivation for you, I’m still working on myself as a principles woman.